lifeunpredicted.com » Dead Wrong

Sammygurlification – Are you Serious?!

Unpredicted — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 18:15:10 +0000

This right here is why chicks need to focus on school instead of trying to emulate Nicki Minaj! This is so damn annoying. Is she serious? Does she think this crap is cute?! *face palm* Talking about a bad shoe, bish they mean bad as in cute. That mess she held up really was a bad shoe (as in terrible). Holding up an ugly azz space boot. Naw, man…. Get your money up and buy a better wardrobe and then talk about being a bad bish. Better yet, stay in school and learn your numbers over again because you are clearly having trouble keeping count with your fingers. If you can remember a rap, you can remember stuff that will actually benefit you in life. Reading is fundamental. I’m not going say anymore because she seems a little slow….

McDonald’s Meal Gone Wrong

Unpredicted — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 15:37:25 +0000

This is how you know you got a problem. This chick got mad because she couldn’t get her chicken nuggets because they were still serving breakfast. Are you serious? I have no words…..

Soulja Boy Pretty Boy Swag = Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle

Unpredicted — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 13:00:21 +0000

Soulja Boy is a freaking joke….. His new song Pretty Boy Swag is ridiculous because the way he is rapping reminds me of that little black boy in the wheelchair on Malcolm in the Middle. His name was Stevie. If you know who I’m talking about you will probably agree. Dude is destroying rap….

Best of Craigslist Series – Beat it

Unpredicted — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 19:28:22 +0000

Originally Posted: Sun, 23 May 17:13 EDT

BEAT IT WITH A REAL JO-BRO – m4m

Date: 2010-05-23, 5:13PM EDT

I’m a serious bro looking for a equally/more serious bro with fancy footwork. The idea is to tie our wrists together ala the “Beat It” video and then each JO/knife fight in a profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness. I would have done this way sooner but have little faith in humanity.

Requirements:
-access to an abandoned warehouse
-old enough/built kinda awesome
-maintains good eye contact
-general intensity
-cool moves
-shades
-leather jackets ( I had to give the one in the pic back – long story, I can tell you when we finish)
-Bedazzler
-basic knowledge of knife/sword/bat fight etiquette (I can teach you what I know if you are pretty serious about art like me)
-can lift 80 lbs
-bachelor’s in something or equivalent experience
-not a narc

Whereas dudes/J-ing O are both undeniably awesome, I’m a straight bro. As in not gay. I just really love MJ and being open minded about new JO scenarios. We will basically play “Beat It” over and over again while we JO and dance, occasionally parrying/thrusting. Winner finishes the most times, but points will be awarded for finishing first/accuracy. If you’re the heter-bro I’m looking for, then we can JO furiously/competitively and then just hang or whatever. I’ve got laser tag too. I’m pretty serious about this. As in completely serious. If you touch my junk with anything but your own I will BF you in the M. Nerds/gays need not apply. I’M NOT GAY.

P.S. – And I’ve gotten with hot chicks as recently as just now.

“They told him don’t you ever come around here
Don’t wanna see your face, you better disappear
The fire’s in their eyes and their words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it”

Location: Philly
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Spokeo – A Stalker’s Paradise

Unpredicted — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 02:54:49 +0000

Have you checked out spokeo.com? This site right here is some straight up bullsh**!! I typed in my name for giggles and grins and found my profile. I decided to pay for a 3 month subscription (which is under $20) and got the full information. It pulls up your credit rating (low, medium, high), what percentage of wealth you are, your house, relatives and people who reside in the home, your email address, phone number and a satellite view of your house. Yes, a view of your house. Your home information (estimate), whether you have children, and a neighborhood assessment which includes race, average income, and occupation. It also pulls any pics you may have posted on a social network as well as info from other sites you visit or have a profile on. I have a radio playlist on a site and it pulled it up. If you have an Amazon.com account it can pull that as well. This mess should be eliminated.

Oh, and to further point out the stalker creep factor you can opt to “follow” the person so you can keep track of what sites they go on and so forth. What is this world coming to? Privacy is clearly a thing of the past….

Say the Number Out Loud

Unpredicted — Mon, 10 May 2010 16:37:02 +0000

Terrible….

Unregistered Sex Offender – LMAO

Unpredicted — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 16:44:27 +0000

I’m probably going to hell for laughing at this…. The song is catchy though and I can’t get it out of my head. LOL.

WTF of the Day: Church Shoe Black

Unpredicted — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:01:29 +0000

I mean, Got Dayum!!! Are you serious?! Dude better smile at night so people can see he’s there. Dayum!! I have no more words…. Scary. *clutching blanket*

Why you Should Monitor what your Kids Watch

Unpredicted — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 00:49:42 +0000

This mess right here is why you should pay attention to what your kids watch and who they hang out with. Damn shame….

Fat & Maternity Leave Jokes

Unpredicted — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 01:17:23 +0000

There comes a time when you realize you must get back in shape. We all get a reality check and I got mine on Friday. Like I said in a previous post, I have access to a vending machine in the new building I’m in. Unfortunately, it is the last thing I need in my grasp. It’s gotten to the point where my coworkers tell me when the vending machine has been restocked. Yeah, that bad…. Anyway, on Friday my boss called a meeting and everything was going as planned. That is…. until we started getting into small talk. My boss “joked” that we all need to learn each other’s jobs in case someone goes on maternity leave. Uh, I’m the only female on the team. WTF?! Is he assuming I’m pregnant? You can tell I’ve gained a little weight but damn!! I just chuckled it off but inside I was visualizing myself kicking him in his balls. Rat bastard…. I’ve been there almost 4 years and he’s never made a point for us to cross-train. Then in another meeting he kept staring at my stomach. Yes, when I sit down now I have a little pooch but it’s nothing serious. People get so used to you looking on point that when you slide, something clearly has to be wrong. Dude needs to remember: It’s all fun and games until the shoe is on the other foot. I don’t “joke” about his belly and balding head. Dude looks like a bowling pin. He can’t even button his jacket all the way! I’m angry now so I’m going to go fuel my rage with an ice cream sandwich.