Size Matters

Yes, size matters. Any person that says it doesn’t is lying through their teeth. Now this post is not just about guys…. Women are included in this too. Let’s first talk about men:

Guys tell themselves that it’s the motion of the ocean but having rhythm and size on your side is most advantageous. Some guys have unrealistic views of their manhood to begin with. They think they’re working with a monster but really have a swizzle stick. Nothing is worse than a guy telling you what he’s got and then the pants come off and he has a cocktail frank. WTH is that about? If the only thing a female can say when you disrobe is “Aww” you need to run. I call that the “Ugly Baby” aww. You know, when you see somebody proudly showing off pics of their baby and the child is crazy looking and totally unattractive so instead of saying nothing you say “Aww”. In your head you’re thinking Hot damn that child is ugly! or Aww, poor baby. Yeah, that’s the sound I’m talking about. Guys, if you disrobe and the chick says “Aww” it’s not a good thing.  The word aww is used in a couple of situations: When something is cute or when something is so bad it requires no words because you have nothing positive to say. Either way, both instances in your naked presence equal disaster.

A couple of years ago I was on a site and a white guy that liked my pic sent me a message saying I have eight inches. And? He got no response. This goes to show size differences in races. For white guys, I guess he thought he was doing something by bragging about having eight inches. A black guy bragging about that would get clowned. But as with everything, there are exceptions.  Black guys aren’t all Mandigo and when that happens it kind of sucks. It’s the equivalent of seeing a thick, black woman and she turns around and has no ass. It’s a total letdown when you believe the rumors/myths and have your expectations about someone deflated.

Let’s talk about women:

Women are no better. We brag about our vaginas and how great and tight they are when they might actually be hollow, echoing caverns. That is not cute. You can’t go around banging guy after guy spouting this statement and expect your coo to stay the same. What’s tight will eventually lose elasticity. Think about it: If you keep stretching a rubber band time after time it will snap back, but after numerous times of pulling it starts to lose it’s shape until the snap back isn’t so quick. I honestly think we have a certain amount of mileage it can accrue before it goes but at least they have surgeries to tighten it back up if needed. Now if you have a baby, I totally understand, but if you bang the snapbacknesss out of yourself then that’s on you. Guys have surgeries to enlarge their members but that surgery is hit or miss. Guys have ended up smaller than they were before due to scarring or other complications. Females, here’s a clue to check if you’re big: If you can put four of your fingers in with ease or your whole hand for that matter, you have a problem. You got the great abyss and no one has told you.

All in all, be realistic about what you have. Don’t hype up a dingy, but let your “work” do the talking.

Toddlers and Tiaras

Who in the hell watches this crap!! This ish comes on TLC and to me, pageant shows for little girls is just downright creepy! They have these little girls with their faces painted like a $2 whore, hair extensions, flippers (fake teeth) and have them gyrating around on the stage like strippers. It’s disgusting and the first thing I always think of is there is some pedophile out there loving it. This clip from South Park this season is exactly what I think dudes are doing.

The girls look like plastic dolls with warpaint on. They are heavily rehearsed and it’s sickening to watch.  All it is is a bunch of women trying to relive their youth and fallen dreams through their children. A lot of these girls don’t even enjoy doing the shows. Come the hell on! Two thumbs down for the show and for pageants as well.

Tiger Woods Incident – Just a Few Questions

Ok, so everyone has heard all of the news about Tiger Woods and his accident. Honestly, some things just don’t add up. Here are a few of my questions:

1. If you live in a huge house and are sleeping at 2:30 am, how in the hell did you hear the accident and knew it was your husband? She was the first at the scene.
2. An Escalade has 6 windows, why did you have to bust out the rear window to “get him out” ?
3. Did you run back to house to get the golf club or was it already in your hand when you got out of the bed after you heard the crash?
4. If your “courageous” wife WAS the first at the scene, why did your neighbor have to call 911 and never mentions her “courageous” azz.
4.Why avoid the cops unless you are trying to heal up some so people won’t see the injuries weren’t accident related but rather domestic squabble related.
5. If it truly was just an accident, how is that bringing embarrassment to your family?

I guess by him making his statement saying he was sorry for his transgressions then if any more women come out he’s in the clear. In my opinion, he spoke out on the whole situation too late. Bottom line, I think his wife heard about him cheating and beat him down. She busted the back window with the club and he got distracted while trying to drive away and crashed. Dudes need to stop messing around with these money and fame hungry chicks. Didn’t he see how the whole Kobe incident played out? Better yet, people need to stop cheating all together!

Tyra Banks is a Hypocrite

Yes she’s a hypocrite. How can this chick go and make a huge campaign telling everyone to “Kiss her Fat Ass” and then go and lose the weight and now telling people they should eat healthy  and live right? Didn’t she say how she liked her curves and didn’t care what anyone thought? Why do people gain weight and say they are happy about it and then lose the weight and say they did it for health? No, you did it because you were tired of what society thought about you. Be real about it!

The comedian Monique is no better. She would always say in her act that she “hated skinny bitches” and that she liked being her size. Now she has lost mad weight and is saying she never said anything about skinny people. Are you for real? Do we need to pull up the various footage to prove you wrong? It just angers me. Tyra then spouts that she lost weight but is keeping “her levels”.  I guess she’s talking about her curves. She looks sickly now; she looked so much better with some weight on her. She preaches good self image to young girls but in reality, she’s just as insecure as the rest of us. Not to mention, her show is lame now and she’s run out of material. She now is doing game show bits on it to fill up time.

I admire what she’s done to build her empire but she disgusts me. Live what you preach….

Men and the Love of Long Hair

So today I got my first negative response to me cutting my hair off and going natural. I told my male friend that I had chopped it all off through text. After a delay he responded Why? I told him because I wanted to and for hair health. He then asked if my husband liked it and then asked if we could hold off on studio pics until it grows back. Now I cut it all off in May and never told him because I knew this would be his reaction. I had just cut it and was trying to get used to it myself and I didn’t want to tell him and get negative feedback. That just hurts your feelings and make you second guess your decision. I decided to tell him today and of course got the “It’s not my thing” response. Oh well.  It was the fact that he felt I was no longer “photo-worthy” that bothered me. GTFOH! Just like I prefer light skinned males, I guess some men prefer long hair. I never told him I couldn’t hang out with him because he was darker skinned. Oh well.

I’ve had long hair before. Been there, done that and it will grow back. I wig it up in the meantime and keep pressing. It’s now 2 inches above shoulder length in the back when flat ironed so I’m making progress. I was an inch about my bra strap in the back before I cut it all off. My advice to those who are thinking about going natural is to rock it and don’t be ashamed. Don’t let anyone’s preferences muddy your decisions on BCing (Big Chopping). Over all, the health of my hair is a lot better because I’m not using chemicals.

It was just a little hurtful that that was his first response and it shocked me a little bit. Men are truly superficial sometimes and it’s sickening. It pisses me off when you see these middle-aged balding men trying to be picky with the women they are seen with. Uh, hello! Dude, you’re no prize yourself so how in the hell can you be picky? You have these fat bastards that will only date a size 2 but guess what, you had better bring something extra to the table.  You had better have deep pockets to be able to have the luxury to pick your women. It’s just funny because everyone knows women are superficial but I have never really encountered a guy being so. It’s disgusting and the next person who approaches me and says something smart better hope I don’t punch them in the throat. I do me, and if you don’t like it keep it movin’….

Fast Food & “Healthy Choices”

This is a crock of you know what. Every time I go to a drive-thru but don’t want the usual deep fried goodness I decide to try one of their healthier alternatives. Unfortunately, their “healthy alternative”, while good in theory, fails in execution.

I saw this most recently with my recent visit to Long John Silvers. They have a menu where you can order grilled fish like salmon and tilapia and the sides are rice and corn. It seemed healthy enough so I opted for the grilled shrimp combo which came with rice, corn, and a roll. After waiting in the drive-thru for about 8 minutes, they handed me my bag which smelled great. Once I got home, I tore off the top of the carrying container and was instantly disappointed. Everything was swimming in butter. What the hell is that about?! The rice was greasy, the shrimp heavily coated, and when I opened up the bag on my corn on the cob gobs of melted butter came pouring out. I would have done better getting some deep fried fish.

I have also noticed this with KFC. The grilled chicken, in my opinion, is great. You just have to be careful with what side you pick because if you pick the wrong one, you can negate all of the calories and fat you eliminated while choosing grilled.  I try to opt for green beans but even that is usually heavily salted. Even getting salads are jacked up. Once you add the meat and salad dressing you have just given yourself another step in the coronary direction. I looked on a pack of blue cheese dressing one day and saw it contained 2 1/2 servings in one pack. Are they serious? I was bitter but still ate it. I have to find a better way to eat…

Compassion

The following below was taken from a forum I frequently visit. I feel for her because this just continues to prove the insensitivity of people. It makes me angry because people continue to feel the need to broadcast their self importance. The rude lady then told her to pay with a credit card like everyone else. Obviously if you have to pay for your groceries with a credit card instead of a debit card or cash you’re not doing too well yourself. I’ve been in line behind people using vouchers and don’t care. I’m sure they feel embarrassed but I don’t look down on anyone trying to make ends meet and survive. If I were the author of this letter, I would have told the lady behind me to kick rocks and get the hell out of line if  I was inconveniencing her so much. What an ass!  We need to show more compassion for others. Read on….

Dear Lady in the Checkout Line Behind Me at Giant :

Thank you for making a scene while I was attempting to check out with my WIC vouchers.

Speaking for everyone and anyone that has ever used these you would know two things…#1–they are carried in a large folder and the vouchers are checks–as if it isn’t “embarrassing” enough, they must be out for the cashier (and everyone else around you) to see…and #2–they are more time consuming for the cashier to ring up than “regular food”–so it is “embarrassing” when people get line behind you and watch your every move.

I chose to go to Giant at 3pm because I figured it would be less busy since many people are working at this time. When I got my items, I proceeded to checkout at the line that was busy, because I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone who may only have a few, non-WIC items. So after waiting for the preceding customer to check out, it was my turn. This is my first time using WIC in MD so it’s unfamiliar to me, but I sorted my items on the belt in order that they are on the voucher to make it easier (and faster) for the cashier. No one was behind me in line… The cashier rang up my items and I signed the first voucher. Then came the second voucher…a fruit and veggie voucher that is NEW in MD beginning TODAY…so the cashier must ask for managers assistance…at that point, the manager helps the cashier and shows the other employees the *new* voucher so they would not be confused when they got one. During this time, you decided to get in line behind me. I saw you glaring at me, at the cashier, at the vouchers in the large folder that is used with WIC…I heard you groaning and breathing heavily…I almost apologized before I realized that I should not HAVE to apologize to you. There were 8 other lines open, you chose this line. Then, when the cashier was finishing my fruit purchase, you loudly exclaimed “Jesus Christ! Pay for your #### with a damn credit card like everyone else!” and you gathered all of your groceries (and dropped your lettuce) and got into another line. The cashier looked at me…I looked at her…my son cried…we were all uncomfortable.

I tried to look for you in the parking lot to talk to you…but I then saw you SPEEDING out of the parking lot oblivious to the pedestrians around you. I hope what you were doing was very important to be in such a hurry.

If I could have talked to you, though, here is what I would have said…

If you feel THAT strongly about WIC, please contact your government. My husband is a United States Sailor. He works 70-80 hours per WEEK for your freedom, and STILL only makes a little bit of money, yes, little enough that we do qualify for WIC. If it is THAT much of a problem for you, I am SURE the U.S. military wives that suck up their pride to get these items that WIC provides for their family would APPRECIATE you providing the government with your input, that in fact, the military SHOULD make more money and not qualify.

While you go home to your sweet, wealthy life…remember, these people that qualify for WIC could be your son or daughter…we are PROUD of my husband’s job and though the pay is little; the reward and pride we have are infinite. Stop judging people…and last, please don’t curse in front of my child.

Thank you,
Proud WIC Receiving Navy Wife

Bathroom Etiquette (Part 1)

There is nothing worse for me than getting to work early in a pleasant mood, ready to take on the day, and then walking into the bathroom and immediately hitting a wall of funk.  Face balled up with me punching the air fog.  Who decides to get to work and blow the bathroom up like that? Why? Total nuclear fallout…… This is instant anger and ruins the rest of my morning.  Then these nasty chicks  don’t want to spray like their shit doesn’t stink.  Are you serious?

Sites Putting Men/Women on Blast

Everyone has probably come across a scorned lover at least once in their travels. Both men and women have been done dirty by the opposite sex and sometimes want to air the offending partner’s dirty laundry. Accusations from being being STD infected, slutty, lazy, trifling and the like are usually issues that are usually brought to light and yes, there are sites online to do just that.

For women there is the site dontdatehimgirl.com. I have known about this site for a while. It’s basically a site where women can post the guy’s picture and write scandalous information about them to their heart’s content. Most of the posts are about the guy cheating on them, how they gave them a disease, baby mama drama, etc. I found it an entertaining site and I found a few guys that I know on there. Too funny….

For men, there is a newly created site called justdontwifeher.com. I just found out about this site last week. It’s still relatively new and they constantly have server overload problems so you have to keep refreshing the page if you get an error. This site lets guys bitch about how women did them wrong and how others shouldn’t try to marry the chick. Oh, and they do post married women’s pics up there too. Guys are talking about how these chicks are gold diggers and sluts and posting pictures of them. It’s craziness but fair game since the women have a site to do just the same.  I honestly believe hateful and petty women post on the guy’s site just to put a chick they don’t like up there.  It’s just funny to read the posts because a guy is still going to f*** these females regardless. An example of this is a post where some guy posted a pic of a girl he was with who did him wrong and he said that she gave him an STD.  Some other guy posted a comment saying he would just have to take that chance because she was so fine. Typical guy….. *shaking head*

Besides the looming possibility of getting sued for libel for writing scathing and probably false information about someone online, the site is an interesting read. I frequently search the pages to make sure I’m not on there…… *laughing*

Annoying Coworkers

Have you guys ever had an annoying coworker? I have a coworker, who I nicknamed ‘Cali’, who really irritates me. I call him Cali because he’s a pretentious ass who no longer lives in the state of California anymore, but keeps his old number and carries on how he’s the greatest. That’s a whole different story….  This fool has a habit of listening in on my phone conversations. We have our own offices but the minute I get on my work phone or cell he immediately gets quiet.  Either that or he’ll start printing something (because the printer is my office) so he can come in the office to hear me better.  I thought I was being paranoid until last week I was talking to a coworker on my work phone and Cali answered my responses out loud from his office! He has lost his mind. On Friday, I was on the phone with my door closed going around and around with the law firm and he decides to print something right on queue. To make things worse, this asshole decides to bust through my door and grab his papers and proceed to stand there rustling around two pieces of paper he printed out. I told the lady on the phone to hold on and this dude still stood there! I had to walk outside to finish my call. He has gotten on my last nerve and I’m about to call him on it when I see him.  I’m tired of that eavesdropping bastard.