People need to remember that Facebook can get you caught up. Don’t post stuff that can potentially get you in trouble like this fool.  I also have a rule: Never friend people you work with….

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How does being a certain race make you more apt to stealing? Being a thief goes across all color lines and economic backgrounds.  Profiling is dead wrong and they know it.  Instead of watching Keisha casually shopping electronics, they should be taking a look at Peter in his nice suit robbing the store blind. I’ve even heard of blacks going to high-end stores, dressed nicely might I add, and still being treated as inferior.  My money is just as good as the next person.  When Oprah, a black woman with a grip of money and much fame, was discriminated against in a store I realized there was no hope for the rest of us.

Looking at clothing doesn’t mean anything either. I know a millionaire who dresses as regular as you and I do and drives an average car.  In my experience, a lot of flashy people don’t have what they are trying to exude. When are we going to look past the outer appearance and look at a person for what they truly are? Everyone should be afforded the same shopping experience. It’s sad that things will never be equal.

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If you’re looking for a makeover site, Taaz.com is great. If you’ve never heard of this site, you can upload your picture (making sure you are faced forward with your hair back) and try on different hairstyles and makeup looks. If you don’t want to use your own picture, you can pick from a sample of models that might resemble you or your complexion. Want to see what you would look like with shorter hair? Highlights? A new haircut or that new shade of lipstick? Definitely try this site out. I tried it out and it’s pretty interesting.

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So in case you haven’t seen the Countdown Timer in the right-hand side of the screen, I’m facing possible unemployment very soon. Our current contract is up on Feb 28th so we were expecting news of who won by now. Now we got word that they are going to release the name of the company on March 15th. In the meantime, they have extended our bridge contract. WTF?! I see nothing but red flags now.

1. If they wanted to keep us, why extend the contract? Why not just award it to us instead of waiting? Why, because I think this will be an upset. We’re all thinking that they are going with another company.

2. At our staff meeting yesterday, the customer expressed trying to revamp some software of theirs to mimic what our tool does. They have been using our software for the past 3 years and have had no problems. Now all of a sudden, they want to stop using ours and edit their existing software to do what ours has been successfully doing. To me that sounds like they are trying to cut my company out completely.

Maybe I’m being paranoid but I don’t think so. The writing is on the wall. Even our boss told us to put our resumes out so that is what I’ve been doing. Scary…. Stay tuned. I’m sure something interesting will come up. Wish me luck and/or pray for me. A sister can’t be jobless right now. I got bills….

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear cost $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see the wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes–one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier….

So on Monday I decided to replace my Betta that died with a new one. I really like Jasper. I think he’s really pretty and I think he’s content with his new home. The next morning he was happily making his bubble nest.   But of course with the good comes the bad (you knew it was coming). Everyone fears the IRS. There is nothing worse than owing them money or getting audited. I of course got the dreaded audit. It sucks when you are waiting for your return and nothing shows up. Finally you get word that your tax return was flagged and you are being audited. What the hell?! People have plans for their money. Oh well. It’s now a sit and wait to see what they do and/or request.

Yes, size matters. Any person that says it doesn’t is lying through their teeth. Now this post is not just about guys…. Women are included in this too. Let’s first talk about men:

Guys tell themselves that it’s the motion of the ocean but having rhythm and size on your side is most advantageous. Some guys have unrealistic views of their manhood to begin with. They think they’re working with a monster but really have a swizzle stick. Nothing is worse than a guy telling you what he’s got and then the pants come off and he has a cocktail frank. WTH is that about? If the only thing a female can say when you disrobe is “Aww” you need to run. I call that the “Ugly Baby” aww. You know, when you see somebody proudly showing off pics of their baby and the child is crazy looking and totally unattractive so instead of saying nothing you say “Aww”. In your head you’re thinking Hot damn that child is ugly! or Aww, poor baby. Yeah, that’s the sound I’m talking about. Guys, if you disrobe and the chick says “Aww” it’s not a good thing.  The word aww is used in a couple of situations: When something is cute or when something is so bad it requires no words because you have nothing positive to say. Either way, both instances in your naked presence equal disaster.

A couple of years ago I was on a site and a white guy that liked my pic sent me a message saying I have eight inches. And? He got no response. This goes to show size differences in races. For white guys, I guess he thought he was doing something by bragging about having eight inches. A black guy bragging about that would get clowned. But as with everything, there are exceptions.  Black guys aren’t all Mandigo and when that happens it kind of sucks. It’s the equivalent of seeing a thick, black woman and she turns around and has no ass. It’s a total letdown when you believe the rumors/myths and have your expectations about someone deflated.

Let’s talk about women:

Women are no better. We brag about our vaginas and how great and tight they are when they might actually be hollow, echoing caverns. That is not cute. You can’t go around banging guy after guy spouting this statement and expect your coo to stay the same. What’s tight will eventually lose elasticity. Think about it: If you keep stretching a rubber band time after time it will snap back, but after numerous times of pulling it starts to lose it’s shape until the snap back isn’t so quick. I honestly think we have a certain amount of mileage it can accrue before it goes but at least they have surgeries to tighten it back up if needed. Now if you have a baby, I totally understand, but if you bang the snapbacknesss out of yourself then that’s on you. Guys have surgeries to enlarge their members but that surgery is hit or miss. Guys have ended up smaller than they were before due to scarring or other complications. Females, here’s a clue to check if you’re big: If you can put four of your fingers in with ease or your whole hand for that matter, you have a problem. You got the great abyss and no one has told you.

All in all, be realistic about what you have. Don’t hype up a dingy, but let your “work” do the talking.

So I have finally come to the conclusion that I’m a dirt bag magnet. Friends, acquaintances, etc.  In life, everyone attracts a certain type of person to them and I attract undesirables like a moth to a flame. I never trust anyone because those that I have trusted ended up doing me wrong in the long run. I’m leery of all because in the back of my mind, I know if the right situation comes along, they will screw me over.

I bring this up because I have recently cut off a good friend of mine for very good reasons. I got tired of constant selfishness and temper tantrums (mantrums). He gets upset and pouts if you don’t text him back in what he thinks is a reasonable amount of time. People are busy and work, not stuck at home like him. Get over it! Dude is in his early forties but has the mentality of many 20 somethings when they don’t get their way. I grew tired of the constant complaining and whining about how life is so bad but they choose to do nothing about it but sit on their ass and eat themselves into an early grave. If I had to hear one more time about how his manhood was small I was going to scream. Who the eff cares? At the very least, this past friendship showed me what I don’t want to be and he has given me the motivation to get things in order. I refuse to be in my 40’s, single, working a dead-end job making little pay, and degree-less. I want better for myself so I will venture forth. No time for the weary. Not to mention, his morals were shot. I always had an issue with him doing shoots and basically cumming on females feet without their consent and knowledge. Yes, you read that right.  Who does that mess?! That’s disgusting and things come back on people. That’s assault in my book.

I have nicknamed the guy “Why Me”  because he’s constantly complaining about how the world is against him and he can’t catch a break. I had to constantly explain to him that life is what you make it and it can get better. He can’t look past the hard times and chooses to instead whine to anyone within earshot about his problems. At one point, I felt like more of a counselor than a friend. Others who deal with him have the same sentiments.

All of my previous friends ended up being shady, lied to me, tried to steal my husband, slandered me, spread rumors, stole from me, etc. “Why Me” seemed like a nice guy ( and I believe he still is inside) but he has serious character flaws which I choose to no longer deal with. The last straw came last week when he got pissed off because I no longer want to pose for his iffy fetish site. My husband no longer wants me to do foot fetish pics anymore, and honestly neither do I. It was interesting at first but I no longer want to delve into that world anymore. I originally told “Why Me” I would shoot again but things changed. This bastard had the audacity to say that I don’t keep my word and compared me to a model he had who stole his camera. This asshole compared me to a thief. How childish is that? I wasn’t taking any money out of his pocket and he didn’t pay me ahead of time. If one model makes or breaks your site you need to close up shop immediately. Obviously money was more important to him than friendship. When your spouse has an issue with something, you should listen. “Why Me” needs to recognize his importance in people’s life. Spouse comes waaaayy before him in the chain of life. It will trump his wishes every time. He knows this because I asked him when he and his girlfriend get married would he quit his site if she had an issue with it. He said yeah. Dude is a hypocrite to the 10th degree.

He’s also lied to my face. He acted like he didn’t know who did the black & white photos for my sister (salacious in nature) and he’s the one who did it. It was creepy that he was looking at my sister in that way. I guarantee if his son were sending me nude pics and I kept them and commented, he would have a huuuge issue with that. He also refuses to help my sister get a grant. He has a contact where he lives and said he’s trying to get hooked up and would help me too. I don’t need it because I have the GI Bill. Now he tells my sister he can’t help her because she doesn’t live in Baltimore. Uh, neither do I and he definitely doesn’t either. I showed my sister the text trail as proof. He just doesn’t want to help anyone but himself.

All in all,  I hope he and his ex really do get remarried. Perhaps when he’s married he will stop being so emotional about little crap that doesn’t matter. The funny part is, I was his real friend. Too bad he was too blind to see that.  Will we ever be friends again? I don’t know. I feel for him; the bulk of his interactions with people (friends) are models of his who only want money from him and they only contact him when they need something. Sad…..  I wish him well. I recently got things in the works so things are looking up.

I come across so many Black females who are clearly overweight (aka fat) and want to call themselves “thick”. This is mind boggling because one must clearly understand that the two terms are not interchangeable. Chicks see video models and think they fit in the same category as these women. They think they look like this and really look like this. Most video models I see that are considered thick have a medium frame with ample backside and definitely larger hips and thighs and a flat to semi-flat stomach. I realize that the majority of women who want to classify themselves as thick look nothing like this. I stare in disbelief at how they can lie to themselves.

- If your gut sticks out as much as your azz, you are fat, not thick.
- If you can grab your back fat with your whole hand, you’re fat. Better yet, if your back looks like you got finger waves…… You know the rest.

A lot of Black women assume that if they have a fat azz then they are thick. Uh, if you’re 300 pounds everything on you is big. Having big front and back and side to side is not cute and not healthy.  I saw a lady with what many would consider a nice azz and she turned around and you could see the fat rolls of her stomach spilling out of her shirt. That’s not cute! Fat chicks never want to admit they’re fat. They always say, “I’m thick, you know you like this.” Eff that! Keep all the giblets and gravy to yourself. When you no longer have a waistline, you are not in the thick zone. You have stepped over into Fat town.

I see to many Black women like myself who swear that they’re cute, parading around in too snug garments looking like a sausage ready to pop. Just because it’s the new trend doesn’t mean it looks good on your body type. High blood pressure and diabetes are not your friend. I always wondered were they looking at themselves in a fun-house mirror before they left the house. Either way, it’s sad that nowadays, having a fat azz (no matter what the rest of your body looks like) is all it takes to call yourself thick. Overweight people have big body parts, but they are past the thick point.

How about this: Keep thinking you’re thick and cute. At the rate you’re going they’ll be cutting a wall out your house to get you to the hospital becuase your “thick” azz was in denial for years. It’s okay to have a big azz, but a loose gut to match is not a nice accessory. Get it together…..

So last week I bought a pack of Snackwell’s Devil’s Food Cookie Cakes because I wanted something sweet yet healthy. Even though I am a size 6, I want to watch what I eat. I looked at the box and saw that they were 50 calories apiece and there were 12 in the box. Well, if I ate three a day I would be ok.  Six cakes in I’m still telling myself that’s all for the day but one more won’t hurt because they’re diet food!  I didn’t eat a big lunch that day so I would be making up for lost calories.

Four hours later after the entire box is gone and 600 calories consumed, I feel guilty.  I knew had they been fat filled I would have paced myself but because they were “diet” it made it ok to gorge myself. I gave myself justification to go crazy and stuff my face. Don’t judge me…. I know I’m not alone in this.